The prodigal son has returned to writing about wrestling once again. I am FPC Wrestling’s form of CM Punk, who was the influence for this article.
Before I get started, I have a couple of disclaimers:
- This is all MY opinion.
- I am 22 years old. My first wrestling memory was Brock Lesnar being a beefy man in 2003. Don’t hate me because I left out someone from the 90’s or 80’s. I wasn’t alive.
- You will never change my opinion but if you’d like to debate it, my Twitter handle is @JMeloSports. Go ahead.
- “Real American” – Hulk Hogan theme
- “Medal” – Kurt Angle theme
- “Rockhouse” – n.W.o theme
- “WWE: Undisputed” – Undisputed Era
- “Enter Sandman” – Sandman
- “Just Close Your Eyes” – Christian
10.) “Viva La Raza” by Jim Johnston – Eddie Guerrero
Eddie Guerrero is my favorite wrestler of all time so really this theme just hit closer to me because of that. That’s my only real reasoning for sticking the song in the number ten spot. I do think it’s incredibly catchy and deserving to be up that simply for the fact that it sounded so good when Eddie won the WWE Championship at No Way Out 2004.
9.) “Basic Thugonomics” by John Cena – John Cena
I unironically love this song. The 2004 version of Javier knew every lyric to this song.
“So you think you’re untouchable?”
“Like a broken needle, kid, you’re missing the point”
“Taking over Earth and I’m still kicking Uranus”
This should be higher up on the list.
8.) “I Won’t Do What You Tell Me” by Jim Johnston – Stone Cold Steve Austin
You can’t make this list without Stone Cold Steve Austin. You just can’t. The glass shatter alone is enough for it to make the list, much less the guitar and the random high-pitched thing that I have no idea what it is but I love mimicking it with my voice.
If anything, this is the theme that has been recreated more by people’s voices than anything. Stone Cold is the best to ever do it and his theme was just perfect for him and the time he represented.
7.) “I Walk Alone” by Saliva – Batista
2005 is my favorite year in the history of wrestling, as you’ll find out with a couple of the picks coming up. I was the biggest rapper John Cena fan so him winning at Wrestlemania 21 meant everything to me. That said, Batista had the better theme and I will sing it with my chest to this day.
“This counter-culture of wicked lives and death” – teen angst me (I was eight or nine) loved this line.
“I WALK FOR MILES INSIDE THIS PIT OF DANGERRRRRRR”
All. Time. Classic.
6.) “Are You Ready?” by Jim Johnston (ft. Chris Warren) – DX
I don’t have to explain why this song is on the list.
What I do have to explain is why this song is so low on the list. It’s simple. I despise Triple H more than any wrestler ever because he had the biggest go away heat with me as a kid. It soured me a bit to the pairing but not to the song. Chris Warren, RIP, killed this song and it absolutely fell right in line with a time that had bands like Rage Against the Machine, who had a similar sound.
That said, six was the highest I could put it on my personal list.
5.) “Metalingus” by It Lives, It Breathes – Edge
“ON THIS DAY… I SEE CLEARLY”
Edge was neck-and-neck with Triple H for people that I hated most but it was because of his feud with John Cena more than anything. I loved listening to his theme song. The “You think you know me?” will be in my top three openers for a theme for as long as I live.
4.) “Burn In My Light” by Mercy Drive – Randy Orton’s first theme
“HEY! NOTHING YOU CAN SAY! NOTHING’S GONNA CHANGE WHAT YOU’VE DONE TO ME!”
With the sparks falling in the background while he does the pose.
THIS was peak Randy Orton to me. The Legend Killer. The suave jerk. The cockiness and charisma my goodness. Everything about this theme and entrance was great.
Now, I do like his current theme, but I will never
3.) “No More Words” by Endeverafter – Jeff Hardy
“DON’T YOU SEE THE WRITIN’ ON THE WALLLLL?”
Jeff Hardy with the Intercontinental Championship with this song was the second peak of wrestling right after 2005.
My favorite note about this song is that it’s sung by Hardy. Endeverafter is his band. I’ll be honest, their music kind of slaps. I loved Endeverafter for a good stretch of the early 2010s, even when I wasn’t watching wrestling.
2.) “Break the Walls Down” by Jim Johnston – Chris Jericho
“BREAK THE WALLS DOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWN”
I think Stone Cold Steve Austin is the best ever because he was undisputedly the reason for the peak of pro wrestling in the 90’s. That said, I genuinely believe that Chris Jericho is the greatest professional wrestler of all time.
This would be number one if it wasn’t for how great number one is. Chris Jericho’s team had me screaming it as a little kid, it had me screaming it as a teenager, and it’ll have me screaming it until the day I die. I LOVE this song.
1.) “Cult of Personality” by Living Colour – CM Punk
This song and CM Punk’s “return” to WWE is the reason for this list. I love this song, and I legitimately have it on three of my five playlists on my phone. It is so good.
From the opening riff, which just lets you know right away that they mean business to the lyrics, which are deep as all hell and make me want to mosh, to the entrance that Punk had when he came out. I miss Punk as a wrestler more for his entrance and theme than anything else. Yes, the guy is a great promo, one of the best ever, but that theme man.
Listen, and rejoice, for I just took you down musical nirvana and you will have at least 4-5 of these songs stuck in your head for the next few days.