Two games. That is apparently all the evidence we need.
By Sunday night, somebody was researching Super Bowl hotels, somebody was demanding a coaching change, and somebody was explaining why their preseason predictions should not count as legally binding documents.
Welcome to Week 2, when a small sample size meets a very large television.
Let’s make eight sweeping declarations, then briefly allow reason into the room before it ruins the fun.
1. Seattle has made quarterbacks optional
Jaxon Smith-Njigba caught nine passes for 155 yards and three touchdowns in Seattle’s 31–7 win over Arizona, with Drew Lock handling the passing duties.
At this point, the Seahawks’ passing-game installation could fit on a cocktail napkin: Find JSN. Repeat until the opponent requests a different sport.
Lock deserves credit, too. Someone still has to deliver the football, even when the destination appears to have its own gravitational pull.
Reality check: One huge afternoon cannot make a quarterback interchangeable. It can make his job look considerably more pleasant.
2. The Raiders are a wagon. Please locate the parking brake
Las Vegas is 2–0 after beating the Chargers 26–14. Kirk Cousins threw for 253 yards and three touchdowns.
Somewhere, a Raiders fan has gone from “let’s see how September goes” to checking February hotel availability without closing the first browser tab.
That is the proper speed for an overreaction. There should be tire smoke.
Reality check: The start matters, especially with a division win included. Two Sundays still leave plenty to prove. Enjoy being interesting before assigning everyone a seat on the parade float.
3. Carolina fixed its defense by turning it off and back on
The Panthers allowed 59 points in their opener. Atlanta managed three.
That is less a weekly adjustment than a successful call to technical support.
Bryce Young supplied 287 passing yards and three touchdowns in the 34–3 win over the Falcons, while Carolina’s defense forced five turnovers.
Apparently, the troubleshooting instructions were excellent.
Reality check: Atlanta’s offensive struggles belong in the evaluation. Carolina nevertheless gets credit for responding emphatically. The Panthers can enjoy this film session without immediately requesting another factory reset.
4. The Patriots’ defense would like to run the entire organization
New England beat Pittsburgh 20–3, and Elijah Ponder returned a fumble for a touchdown.
The Patriots’ defense therefore scored more touchdowns than Pittsburgh’s entire team. Expect it to request a larger office and control of the thermostat.
Aaron Rodgers and the Steelers converted just two of 12 third downs. By the end, moving the chains felt like something Pittsburgh needed written permission to attempt.
Reality check: That defensive performance deserves praise. It also gives the offense a standard to match, rather than a reason to assume every opponent will cooperate.
5. Houston needs Google Maps to find the end zone
C.J. Stroud threw for 353 yards in a 20–6 loss to Cincinnati. Houston finished without a touchdown.
That is an impressive amount of travel for a team that never reached its destination. Somewhere, a navigation voice is calmly repeating “recalculating” while everyone in the car argues.
Six points will make even a substantial passing total feel like a receipt for food that never arrived.
Reality check: Stroud’s yardage cannot erase the finishing problems. At 0–2, Houston needs scoring solutions more urgently than it needs somebody to admire the mileage.
6. The Saints should begin every game in the fourth quarter
New Orleans rallied from 14–3 down to beat Baltimore 24–17. Tyler Shough supplied the winning one-yard touchdown on fourth-and-goal with 1:28 remaining.
A field goal was available. Kellen Moore chose the option that makes an entire city stand up at once.
For maximum efficiency, perhaps the Saints should skip directly to the stressful part and let everybody reclaim their afternoon.
Reality check: Shough’s late execution is encouraging. Building a weekly business model around double-digit comebacks would be an unnecessarily exhausting way to operate.
7. Tampa Bay’s two-minute warning needs an intermission sponsor
The Buccaneers’ 23–19 loss to Cleveland included a two-hour, 12-minute lightning delay near the two-minute warning.
You could start dinner, finish dinner, reconsider your preseason predictions and still return before the next snap.
The two-minute warning had a director’s cut.
Tampa Bay ultimately remained stuck on 19 points and fell to 0–2. That is a long afternoon to spend waiting for the same bad news.
Reality check: The interruption was unusual. The record is the lasting concern, and a weather forecast cannot fix the execution that follows it.
8. Overtime belongs to the Chiefs. Everyone else is visiting
Kansas City beat Indianapolis 33–30 in overtime, with Harrison Butker hitting the winning 40-yard field goal as time expired. Patrick Mahomes threw for 382 yards and three touchdowns.
The Colts stayed for the entire movie. Unfortunately, Mahomes still had a post-credits scene.
At some point, opponents should stop agreeing to let Kansas City choose the ending.
Reality check: Allowing 30 points leaves plenty to examine. Having Mahomes available for the final possession remains a fairly compelling response to the question of how to survive it.
The best September takes come with an escape hatch.
Celebrate the good Sundays. Demand fixes after the bad ones. Leave enough room for the possibility that an NFL team can look completely different seven days later.
Save these takes if they age well. If they do not, we will meet here next Sunday and pretend the entire conversation happened on somebody else’s account.
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